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noukate Sda3 Sdaaaa3 blague noukta افضل نكتة نكات الضحك

Sqwila hamdineافضل نكات الضحك 2010

 

Hada wa7ed kheyna tka3a m3a mratou, wa7ed enhar, whouwa yemchi lel9ehwa m3a s7abou, whouwa yerje3 m3a hadik ejouj dial ellil, wel9aha na3ssa, whouwa yektibliha fwa7ed elwar9a :

Fey9ini m3a esseb3a bach nemchi

elkhedma elmouhim essiyed n3ess. elghadlih fa9 m3a elwe7da dial le3chiya, wel9a 7dah wa7ed elwer9a mektoubfiha :

Noud, rah esseb3a hadi !!!!!!!!!!

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mirricani o marrocci o talyani tal3ou ltayarra. Mirricani kan taytkayiff howa ilouh lgarou nakazz marrocci galih 3alach lihtihh galihh 3adna bazaff minhoum , marocci haydd triikou howa ilouhou nakazz talyani galihh 3alach tihtihh galih 3adna bazaf manhoum, Talyani malga maylouhh howa ilouhh marocci galih miricani 3lach lehtih galih 3andna bezaf menhoum

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Gallik hada wahed rajel tjewej bwahda mtdiyna bezzaf.

Wahed nhar ja miyyet bjou3 ou galiha : ach mtiyba lina flghda?

Gatlih : lbid mslouk.

Galliha : ou dak lkoukoute ana lach chariha lik, yak bach tiybi lina lmrka.

Gatlih : lkoukoute katseffer, ou tsfar fl'islam hram.

Galliha : wa siri ldarkoum, mnine ykhtar3ou chi koukoute katweddene 3ad aji

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 wahad al barkani ja alwajda ouhouwa bda kaychouf f wahad l'hotel fih bazaf nta3 les etages chafah wahad alwajdi ouhouwa 3arfo bli barkani ouja l3ando ougalih ila kounti katchouf f 1er etages tkalas 100dh ilaf 2em tkalass 200dh... houwa kan kaychouf f 4em etages ougalih ana rani nchouf ri f 2em atage oukalas 200dh kimcha l barkan bka farhan koudam shabou saksawah shoubou ougalihoum ana hchitha lwahad alwajdi ana kounte kanchouf f 4em etages oukalaste ri 200dh

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 Fi mara ordinnateur etgawez ordinnateura, w mara 2alaha ana 7atala2ek, 9aletlo w hiya b tebki : ya lahwiii 7atala9ni w cd li f batni??

galik hado wa7de talamide dakhlo 3nde 2osstade tarbia issalamia o howa issaoulhom 3la ssmiathom o bdaou kay bano 3lih galih 1 ana smiti 3al2 diiiiin o 2 nourdiiiiiiin o 3 ....diiiin o ja lakhire o t9adaou ssmiate diale ...diiine o bda kay fkkr o galih pitadiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin hahahahahah

 

 

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lfark bin pedt wl pc howa ana pc 3ando souris 3la bra wl pedet 3ando souris ldakhl

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 galik wahad ostad nawad wahad galih arsam liya chi haja kat3abar fa sabora nad dari chad tabachir ahmar odar no9ta fa sabora orja3 glas ja ostad galih rak marsamti walo galih dari hadak ostad 3azi tayakmi al garo.

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 daba wahd jan galak bagi isayb lakart national howa imchi 3nad m9adame howa i golih bagi nsayab lakart national howa i golih lma9adam khasni n3raf fin sakn ba3da o gad lih mcha jan 3ande lm9adam howa i jib lih rajal sakn fih howa i golih ha fin sakn

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 galic hada wahed al wazir 9arar yijma3 jami3 al wouzara ou al malik galihoume chkoune liya9dar yihkam bladou mziane nad boch galihoume lyouma na9talkoume cha3bou mardache ou houma y3iytou li ho9o9 alinssan nad al "malike dial wahed doula arabia (hassen 5-3)" galihome rda nchna9 wahd b wahd ou galih wahde al rajle wache lhbal men 3ndkoume wla men 3andna!!!!

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 hada wahed khayna labas 3lih wahed nhar makanech 3andou leflouse wehouwa yemchi wahed cyber gal moulah 3afak salefny wahed 500 dh moul cyber 3tahoum lih elmouhim hadak khayna li labas 3lih ja 3awtany gal moul cyber wahed 500 dh hadak moul cyber galih ila bghitihoum cha3el hadak ordinateure hadak 3la nyetou mcha cha3lou houwa yegi hadak moul cyber ched rase dyal hada li labas houwa yekchi lih fi l'ecran galih makayen walou galih moul cyber koune jebtihoum ghadi tel9ahoum !!!

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 kalak hada wa7d khayna 7al msn ol kah khawi malka ta wa7d li mconicti o howa ymchi tchatche o dar fl la9ab 3tiwni msnat lah yr7am walidikom hahahahahaha

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 hadi wa9i3iya (wahad al barkani kan kaya9ra m3ana f'al 9ism okan mkalakh f'al 3arbiya wahad nhar sa9sana ostad lora al 3arabiya a3la wahad al bayt chi3ri galina achkon i9dar icharho liya hata wahad ma3raf icharho s3ib ja al barkani al mosama(nkass ilakh)3ala yadih galih al bayt howa al manzel(la maison).

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 hada hmad o mohamed tkido f al3askar sawal shaf hmad galih chkon hadi galih rraya galih lla hadi bak mak khok khtak jdak jadak. ohiya tji nobt mohamed galih chkon hadi galih 3ailt hmad.

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 gal liki hadi wahd almodarissa jdida jbouha lwahd lmadrassa fi ashiadma ; wa tza3tou fih atlamad wahd anhar kan 3andhoum lhssabe wasslou ljadoual adarb galt lwahd atalmid 3andha smaitou hmaida dima ghir saket galt lih wahd darbou fwahd ashnou gal liha farg3ou haahah

 

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 wahed rajel kan ghadi o howa ylka soutiannat tayhin howa ygoul ykh tfou khawin

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 gal lik wahed lmou3alim gal ltalamid diyalou achnou houa le pain bel3arabiya? jawoub wahed almoujtahid houya ygoule lih houya lkhoubz. houya isouyal wahd l kassoul gal lih ou le lapain achnou houya a ouldi? jawbou lkassoul gal lih houa lmssamen a oustad.

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 galk hada wahd rajl wldou dima ky kdb 3lih

wahd nhar bah sawb wahd l ala bache ghir ikdb l wld tbda tsouni wahd nhar ja l wld l dar o galou bah chhal gbti f l math galou 15 o b9at katsouni l ala o galou chhal gbti f l arbia galou 16 o b9at katsouni galou bah ana hit knt 9dk knt kangib 20 o hia tfrg3 dik l ala.hahahaha...

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 hada prof gual l tlamad,ach lfar9 bin bnadam w l'ordinateur,jawbou 1 kasoul w khaser :

la sourie d PC f l'exterieur,w la sourie d bnadam f l'interieur.

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 hada whed l'ordinteur tele9 merto(sa femme) o hia tgoulih o had CD li f kerchi ach ndir lih

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 galike hada wahede lemou3alime resame letalamide deyalou f saboura begra ou bda kaysawalhoume chnouhadi neta bagra mezeyane chnouhadi neta begra mezyane arana houwa yewesale 3enede wahed 2 kousala houwa yesawale lawale chno hadi galou difda3a hwa ygoulo lmou3alime mouke hadi o gale ltani chno hadi hwa yygoulihe mayene hada héhéhéhé

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 galak hada wahed l mo3alim ja ghadi yqari wahed l qissm jdid w l modir mcha m3ahh w wrahh l kissm w wrahh wahedd diri galihh hadak ra kassooul bla ma sada3 rassek m3ahh

lmohim daz liyamm wahd nharr hadak l mo3alim gal wlahh hta njarbo ktb 1 f saboura w galih chnahowa hada dri galihh wahidon galihh mziane howa yrsam difda3a hda l wahed galih w hadi howa ygoulih dri difda3ata3achar

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 9alk hada wa7d f9ih marto mrdat w mnin sala sla dyal jam3a tlab mn nas ya3tiwh flos hta wahd ma3tah . ja kharej k3yan w hwa yl9a wahd skayri 9alo yalah m3aya ila bghiti lflos . dah l bar dakhlo 9al lnas li tma had rajl baghi lflos w homa yjam3olo double dyal lflos li baghi hwa y9olhom lah ykhalikom dima haka .......

 

 

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 galik hado brakna ja 3andhom wahad lwzir galhoma rakom mchawhin galhom nas bdaw tay3awdo 3likom noukat galhom ra khskom tkadmo lkadam homa hzo lkrasa o kahzo l3ando ( hihihih )

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hada wahed 3chiri f lablad ka yatkayef bezaaaaaf zatla men 1823 miladiya ,f 2006 3ayet lih f telefone tanhadro bla bla bla lmohime golt lih chno kaddir fach katfi9 men n3ass f lablad a sahbi ? galliya tanfi9 ka nadrab jwan o kan9assi o ta narja3 n3ass

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 hada wahad nhar kan kira wakaf hda lgazar,chwiya o howa iji l3arbi batma itkada.gal lgazar ara liya wahad jigo dyal lhawli o saybo mazyan .o howa igol lih kira iyiiiihhh jigo wa mahmouma 3lina ri hna..hhhhhhhh

 
Noukate Hayawanate افضل نكات الضحك 2010

Hayawanate:l9ared

Galik hada wahed l9ared "singe" sakran, tale3 fou9 wahed chajra"arbre" o howa ichof wahed timssah"crocodile" o howa i9ol lih" kebarti a boubrays 

 

 

Hayawanate:dwida

Galk hadi wahed dwida tlakat m3a sahbtha o galtlih chhal f sa3a lkhra madthach fiha o hia tgoliha sahbtha :malk fik bnadm

 

 

Hayawanate:kalb

Galek hado 2 klab wahd maghribi o lakhor mirikani tlakaw f tanja o tssahbo.dak miricani gale l kalb maghribi sir nta lmirican o khilini ana f maghrib. men ba3d 3am tlakaw f tanja.o dak kalb miricani sawal l kalab maghribi galih kif jatek mican galih wa3ra ,nass zwinin,dimoccratia...o maghribi galih kif jak maghrib galih 3amri mahasite brassi kalb hata jit lmaghrib...

 

 

Hayawanate:l7mar

Hada wahde lahmar raba ach3are iwa amcha lamraya bache ichouf rasou iwa amcha abka ichouf f rasou ou gal: barab ila 3oude

 

 

 

Hayawanate:la casse

Galik hada wahed dari mabli b lgolvazour mli kaykon f dar bhal daba baghi yakoul kaygoul l mou lwalida bghayte wahed l kou ola illa kan baghi lflouss kaygoul l bah lwalide chi 2 kou mohim mbli bzzzaf hia hadik bah gale had dari mrid 3andi radi ndih ltbib mohim dah 3and tbib galih tbib ach 3andek a waldi gali 3andi kwari hamrin o hwa ygoul tbib l bah had dari khassek t3awed lih la casse 

 

 

 

 

 

Hayawanate:crocodil

Galek hada crocodil(timssah) wdoub w jmel tla9aw bdou nta3 ssif bdaw tayessawelou binathoum koulha fin radi ydawez sif bda doub galhoum ana ranemchi lcanada 3amera 3ssel welraba wa3era wmatayessed3ni hede nad jmel galhoum anji lmaroc sehera wchemicha bbbbiiikkkhhhhiiirr wja lcrocodil galhoum moi je pare en france!! galoulou 3lach la france galhoum parske les francais on touss une grande geull comme moi!!! 

 

 

 

Hayawanate:nmla ou file

Galik hada ouahd elfile galsse kay3oum ou ouahd chwia jatte sahbtou enemla galt lou asa7bi bghit n3oum ou ma3ndich mayou slefni dialk houa igol liha nti hm9a ana nslef lik mayou nta3i bache tous3ih lia 

 

 

 

Hayawanate:tbib srak a zite

Hada wahd tbib dyal srak a zite.kan kidaouihoum .wahd l mara kan dakhl wahd l srak a zite 3and tbib wou houwa tlaka sahbou kalou malk asahbi.kalou ana marchouch wou lakhor kalou wou nta malk .kalou ana msandal

 

 

 

Hayawanate: boubrays

Hada sba3 dayer 3id lmilad 3rad 3la lhayawanat boubrays mahdarch galihom sba3 siro jibouh liya fine makane mcha eddib wrja3 kollo mfassal mcha lfil rja3 halto mcha nmer rja3 kolo damm sba3 galm had chi bazzaf 3la boubrays mni mcha l9a boubrays tala3 fo9 dhar timsah wkygoulih 3ammi hta hada m3ahoum 

 

 

 

 

Hayawanate:debban

Hada 1 khina kay9tal f debban ! dkhol 3lih 1 sa7bo sawlo : achno kat3mal ? kan9tal f debban ! ch7al 9talti ? 3 dkora o 2 ntwat !??? bach 3raftihoom a sa7bi ? 3 l9ithoom fo9 lbirra o 2 fo9 telephone

 

 

 

Hayawanate:Pirroket

1 khina kaydoor bant lih chi ktba f 1 jerda ! mamnoo3 dokhol perroquet khatir ! awah perroquet o khatir lah ita ndkhol ! dkhol l9a perroquet marboot f 1 chejra maktoob 7dah ! ma tfkkouch ! awah lah ita nfkko ! ghir fkko howa yghawat : wa ch3ayba ! ha 1 lvictime 3awtani ! iwa Bali

 

 

 

Hayawanate: 3la khal3a

9alek hada wa7id chaaaaref 3ando 7mar wé wa7d jro 9alek howa rakeb fo9 dik le7mar we kidrab feh zid zid !! we jro machi m3ahom chi7aja dik le 7mar dar feh 9alo baraka madrab jahowa 9al oooh 7mar kihdar we tekhla3 web9a kijri we dik jro m3ah jaa howa w9aff 7it 3ya be jri ja dik jro dar feh 9alo aba 3la khal3aaaa !! 

 

 

 

a kijawk noukate diyal      www.hit-casa.c.la

 

 

 

 

Hayawanate:le7mar by "la gazelle"

Hada wahed rajel 3endou 7mar o kelb o tal3in jbel. daba rajel b9a kayenghez fhadak lehmar hta le7mar tle3 lou dem o 9allou"WA BCHWIYA 3LIK A SA7BI" o houwa rajel ytekhle3 9al "AW LE7MAR KAYEHDER" o b9a kayjerri kayjerri 7ta wsel lrass dial jbel o kelbou tab3ou. fach ja lkelb 9al lih"WA KHLE3NA DAK LE7MAR3"

 

 

 

Hayawanate:l firanes

Hada wahed la soirée dial l firane(souris) chwiya dkhal wahed l far dareb trois kart ou dayrin bih 4 dial toubat kbar, wahed l fouyra galt l sa7ebtha: nti gouli liya chkoun hadek?wi hiya tjawebha: a wili ma3raftihch, hadak rah 3andou seb3at l9awadess f derb ghallef!!!

 

 

 

 

Hayawanate: hayawatane

Hada galik lfik dayr 3id milad o3rad 3la lhayawanat kamlin omnin bdat lhafla jat namla kada9 ohowa yhal liha lbab galiha 3lah mwalfa kata9i yak kadakhli rir men taht lbab ohiya tgoulih bach tkhaser liya labatcha

 

 

 

Hayawanate:lhmar

Hada wahd lkissme kay ykraw fih rie les animaux wahd nhar

swlhoum loustad 3la lhayawan li kay hzou 3lih latkal nakz lkard galih lhmar ou howa sswl houm loustade 3wtani chkounhouwa lhayawan lmklh(stupide) nakaz lkard ou gal lhmar, ou houwa igoulih lhmar ila knti mdouble khalina nkraw 

 

 

 

Hayawanate:hawli

9alik hada wahad lhawli d3if fih ghir soufa w l9roun moulah hato lilbi3 wahad ja walad rajl howa y9ol lmoulah bch7al had lhawli 9alih b 70alf w howa ytlafat lih lhawli howa ykolih ph ph ph 3la kadba

 

 

 

Hayawanate:jonoun alba9ar

Jouj begrat kanou f'lhssida. wahda swlat loukhra:wash makhayfash bmarade jonoun lba9ar? jawbatha: 3lash nkhaf yak ana 3aoud

 

 

 

 

Hayawanate:kharmoucha

alik hada wahad osstad sawal talamid taw3o golo lia asghar hachara kayna jawbo wahad tilmid galih namla galih ostad hasan, na9az lih wahad kasoul galih la a ostad kayn sghar manha hiya kharmoucha sawlo ostad achno had kharmoucha jawbo lkasoul galih kayna f nif ta3 ddib ostad galih imkan kayna edan hasan jidan .wahad kasoulakhor tsahlaha galih ostad kayn sghar manha hiya garmoucha , ostad t3ajab sawlo achno had garmoucha tani jawbo lkasoul galih hiya likayna f nif ta3 kharmoucha.

 

 

 

 

Hayawanate:wa7d sra9 zit

Hada wa7d sra9 zit (cafard ) chra télévision mli ch3lo jbar di3aya dyal flitox howa y9ol bdina b l aflam dlkhawf 

 

 

 

Hayawanate:fraissa ou banana

9alk hada wa7d fraissa ou wa7d banana kanou kay t3ayrou banana 9alt l fraissa nta wjhk mna9at fraissa 9alt l banana ntina dayman kay 3ariwak f zan9a 

 

 

 

Hayawanate:dhiyyich kber

Hada wahed dhiyyich (ptit âne) kber ou houa yemchi kayjerri 3and mou, ou galliha: "mi, mi, wellit hmar!" ou hiya tgoullih: "3lach mal mouk kounti mouhandiss?" 

 

 

 

 

Hayawanate:dabanate (les mouches)

Hadou 2 dabanat barkin tiaklou oihd alkharya(hachakoum) kaltt oihda mnhoum kharya dial albareh hssene mnt dial elyoum

la deuxieme :ouili a sahbeti rahna tan naklou za3maaa!

 

 

 

Hayawanate:moul la7mar

Hada wa7ad jay man france jayab wa7ad voitur mercides wa3ra dayaz 3la lotourout dyal la3rayach chaf wa7ad kaydir auto stop gal m3a rasso ara nziydoh chwia .. ohowa i7bass ochaf m3ah el7mar galou anta tla3 mais 7mar dyalk non il lui dis que mon ane connais bien la route et px aller seul ,alors mol lvoiture demarra b 60km/h dar lka la7mar morah, zad flvitesse 120km/h ojabro mazal lassko , dar lmaximum houa dar ojber la7mar kharjlo lssano ohoua ykol lmol la7mar: "ah 7marek 3ya!!" mol la7mar jawbo: "3lach?": rad 3lih:" rah kharej lssano bela3ya" jawbo mol la7mar: galou wach mkheraj alssanou 3la liman ola 3la lissar.. galou mol auto 3la lissar(à gauche)" galou moul al7mar balaklou rah baghi idobal"

 

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